So now what?

This week has been full of ups and downs. Last Saturday I was supposed to go to Robert's sister Lisa's for his birthday. He basically said to me he didn't want all of us there. Here I'm thinking "Then what the fuck are you doing dating a single mom if you don't want to deal with her kids?" Then the next day he comes over and spends the entire day with the boys. I must be on crack or something or still severely depressed cuz everything still sets me off. This week went by fairly quickly.
Friday night is Robert's soccer night and I thought he was finally gonna "allow" us to go. See, he hasn't told his co-workers about the baby. Why I don't know. He says he doesn't know why. I know it's not cuz he cheating at work. He works with all men. It's like he's embarrassed. So anyway, he plays with his co-workers on a league and I didn't have the boys (I still can't believe Dickhead took them all!) that night so I thought for sure we would be able to go to the game. He left us at home. And didn't come home til nearly 2 am. I was livid! I never get to spend any real time with him and the one night I can stay as long as I want he doesn't even bother to come home at a decent hour! So then Saturday night I go over there and all he wanted was something sexual from me. I gave in easily. Gotta keep my man happy right? Then he's supposed to come over today and he doesn't show up. He doesn't even call! And he doesn't pick up his phone. He finally called me at 8:30 tonight with the lame excuse he was at his sister's. I remember those excuses from when he was cheating on me. Still not sure if I buy it. My gut is all over the place with this one. Last year I was right and didn't trust my gut. What if I'm right again? Then what? How's the saying go? "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." He tells me he won't cheat because he won't make the same mistake twice. Yeah, right. I keep trying to give him his out by saying don't be with me just for the baby. He says he wants to be with me but his actions and words say something different. Unfortunately for me, I love that asshole.