Long time no post

It's been awhile. Haven't had the want to blog. Things are at a stand still in every aspect of my life. Had a job interview today. Same ol' same ol': "We'll get back to you." Gees, if it's a no just say so. I'm an adult I can handle it. Then I can go to other interviews and not be waiting to see if you'll call. Yes, I tend to do that if I think I did well on an interview. Now I know better. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
The kids are alive and well and getting out of school soon. UGH! Not looking forward to days upon days of fighting. Their dad has been nowhere around since he took them all the one Sunday Robert and I went to the Baptism. Big shock. I don't even care anymore. He can drop off the face of the planet for all I care. My eldest's attitude has changed in the last few weeks. He is despondent and depressed and taking it out on all the wrong people. The other 3 I think have come to realize that he is what he is and that he is selfish and is only out for himself. My second eldest has actually said that he hopes his dad stays out of the picture. He says he doesn't want to see him anymore. I'm okay with that.
Things with Robert and I are also same ol' same ol'. I have taken to writing down everything and anythng that happens between us day by day. Searching for patterns. I did find something yesterday that has disturbed me. He told me that it was his co-worker's cousin and that we had met. Okay. So I wrote the number down and put into http://www.switchboard.com. It didn't come up as the name it should have. Now, it could be an old name accompanying the number. I don't know how often the site is updated. But I am terrified to call. What do I say? What if all my worst fears are about to come about? This is denial in all its glory. I don't know how to do this. I keep thinking about when Gabi called me and what she said. I don't think I can do that. I don't know.
Gonna go. I have a watcher. More later, perhaps.