I am going completely insane.

No joke. It has been 56 hours and 11 minutes since I have spoken to Robert. I am getting more and more depressed as the hours drag on. I feel like I am going to break down and cry any minute now. I am holding back the tears because once they start they won't stop. I haven't told the boys that Robert and I might not be together any more. They love him so much and he has been there when their father hasn't been. I want to call him but I am afraid that if I do I will push him to end it with me. So I sent him a text instead. I just said that I was sorry, that I missed him and that I loved him. I don't want it to be over between us. I don't know how to breathe without him. Why can't he understand what I was telling him? I have to admit he was right that I am unappreciative of what he does for me and the boys. No, I do appreciate it, I just don't tell him. Maybe this is a wake up call for me. I don't know how to get it across to him that I do appreciate him and I don't want to lose him. I think he is already gone. My heart is breaking. I am miserable. I miss him terribly. I don't want to think of life will be without him. It's funny with all the bullshit I have been writing about lately that I am more miserable right at this instant than I have been since I began blogging. The wait continues...