Saturday

It was nice party. The band sucked. So the music sucked. The only time Robert and I danced was when the band took a break and they turned on the CD player. I now know I haven't lost it for him. I still feel the same connection when we dance. The rest of the night, however, is a different story. Sure he was busy. I can't deny that. He had to sit at the table with the other attendents (including my son who looked gorgeous in his zoot suit!) for dinner. Then they did the dance. Then he went and sat with his family (mostly his brother Mike who he hadn't seen in months!). So that was fine. But then he mostly igored me the rest of the night. I had to beg him to dance or I would find someone else to dance with. He laughed and pulled me to the dance floor. So after it was over I went back to his house after dropping Brandon off at home and he was asleep! After I said I was coming over to spend some time with him. I was disappointed but I didn't get upset. At least not until I got home this morning and begin to think about last night. I asked him why we don't go dancing anymore and he said because of the baby. I said "What if I get a babysitter?" He said we'd go. So I begin to think about that this morning. He keeps saying he doesn't pay enough attention to me because of the baby. He paid attention to his wife after they had a kid. Enough to knock her up again. So if she left him for another guy I don't understand why. I can understand if he paid here the attention he pays me. I felt so neglected last night. I just can't bring myself to cheat. He is so much to me. When I called him a little while I actually felt a little better. So I told him that I was coming over tomorrow night and that I craved attention from him. I have learned over the last 2 and a half years that subtlety doesn't work with him. I have to just spit out what I want and need. So we'll see what happens tomorrow.